Angizange ocansini iminyaka engaphezu 10 iminyaka

I haven’t had sex for over 10 years

 

Powered by Guardian.co.ukLesi sihloko osesikhundleni “Angizange ocansini iminyaka engaphezu 10 iminyaka” lalotshwa Pamela Stephenson Connolly, I-The Guardian ngoMsombuluko 21 Disemba 2015 08.00 UTC

Ngingumfana oneminyaka engu-46 ubudala, esiye hhayi uselale iminyaka engaphezu 10 iminyaka. Lokhu wayengalokothi plan, kodwa nginesiqiniseko bevaleleke esiminyaminyeni umbuthano esiphakade: Ngikhathazekile kakhulu ngomama ukuthi ngingabasiza ukumchazela lokhu okungase umlingani kanye eside liqhubeka, yokubi ke uthola. Angifuni ukuba siphile ukuphila kwami ​​konke ngaphandle ubulili ngamadodana awo nokuthi ayawathanda.

Ukuba kwakuthiwa ukulungele ukuxhuma ucansi nomunye umuntu kuyisinyathelo esihle sokuqala. Uyoba ukuthatha ezinye izingozi, Nokho, futhi kukhona ukuzivikela esincane noma ubani ahlubuke nokungazethembi futhi embarrassments, kungakhathaliseki bona kungenzeka kanjani ucansi wazibonela. Empeleni, evulekele nokwenqatshwa - ngisho ukuklolodelwa - kuyingxenye ebalulekile yomsebenzi wakho phambili. Lapho ukungakhululeki kwenzeka, nje uzitshele ukuthi aphefumule, abese ikubekezelele.

Okwamanje, zama ukugxila ekwenzeni ukuxhumana nabanye nje for fun and ubungani. Uma uvumele ukuthi ube abathanda okwengeziwe, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uyovele ukuhlangabezana othile oyithanda uzobe ukhangwa. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngeke ngempela kufanele ushiye ozizwa ungakhululekile ukuwenza futhi ake isifiso sakho iholele indlela.

Pledge ukuba enomusa emzimbeni wakho kusukela manje, ugone umqondo ukuthi uyalunga uyabuthanda. Gcwele ntu olulodwa angase angabi muhle kwenye. Futhi ungakhathazeki mayelana ukubukwa abalingani engaba 'omubi mayelana ukungashadi yakho yesikhathi eside: ungenayo ukubatshela, kodwa ngisho uma wenza, amadoda amaningi umane ucabange wena izindinganiso eziphakeme.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly kuyinto zengqondo US-based onguchwepheshe iziyaluyalu ngokocansi.

• Uma ungathanda izeluleko kusuka Pamela Stephenson Connolly ezindabeni zobulili, usithumelele incazelo emfushane ukukhathazeka kwakho private.lives@theguardian.com (sicela ungathumeli nezinamathiselo). isonto ngalinye, Pamela ekhetha owodwa inkinga ukuphendula, okuyinto izoshicilelwa inthanethi ukuphrinta. Yena uyadabuka ngokuthi cha yena ongangena ezazibhalelwe abantu nje abavamile.

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