Man nav bijis sekss vairāk nekā 10 gadiem

I haven’t had sex for over 10 years

 

Powered by Guardian.co.ukŠis raksts ar nosaukumu “Man nav bijis sekss vairāk nekā 10 gadiem” bija raksta Pamela Stephenson Connolly, par The Guardian pirmdien 21. decembrī 2015 08.00 UTC

Es esmu 46 gadus veca sieviete, kurai nav bijis sekss vairāk nekā 10 gadiem. Tas nekad nav bijis plāns, bet es esmu iestrēdzis perpetual aplī: Es jāuztraucas tik daudz par to, kā es varētu izskaidrot to potenciālo partneri, un, jo ilgāk tas notiek, sliktāk tas izpaužas. Es negribu dzīvot pārējo manu dzīvi bez seksa un pieķeršanās.

Būt teorētiski gatavs pieslēgties seksuāli ar citu personu, ir labs pirmais solis. Jums būs veikt dažus riskus, tomēr, un ir maz aizsardzības ikvienam, pret nedrošību un embarrassments, Nav svarīgi, cik seksuāli pieredzējis tie var būt. Patiesībā, ir atvērts noraidījumu - pat izsmiekls - ir svarīga daļa no jūsu darba priekšā. Kad diskomforts notiek, just tell yourself to breathe and tolerate it.

For now, try to focus on making connections with others simply for fun and friendship. If you allow yourself to become more gregarious, sooner or later you will naturally meet someone to whom you will be attracted. At that point, you will really have to leave your comfort zone and let your desire lead the way.

Pledge to be kinder to your body from now on, and embrace the notion that you deserve to have pleasure. Every single human being can be attractive to another. And don’t worry about potential partners’ negative views about your long-term celibacy: you don’t have to tell them, but even if you do, many men will simply assume you have high standards.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist specialising in sexual disorders.

• If you would like advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online and in print. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010

22617 0